Wednesday, 29 January 2014

Top 10: Worst Movies of 2013

10. Iron Man 3

A very disappointing entry in the already declining Iron Man series. Robert Downey Jr. tries to make do with a script that is trying much too hard to be funny, so hard in fact that it opts to make a joke of the most iconic Iron Man villain of all. 'Iron Man 3' is easily the worst Marvel movie yet.

9. Trance

An initially fantastic film from the great Danny Boyle. 'Trance' sadly takes a disastrous turn towards the end that it just isn't possible to recover from. A real shame.

8. Diana

A dull and meagrely acted piece of fluff that won't be remembered for anything more than the failed opportunity it was.

7. One Chance

A somewhat interesting story marred by a predictably bad James Corden and a basic script. TV movie territory.

6. After Earth

Further proof that Jaden Smith is an awful actor, even when starring alongside his father whose role infuriatingly strips him of his signature charisma. A bland and often idiotic plot does not help matters much.

5. The Internship

An overly long comedy that is completely devoid of laughs, 'Wedding Crashers' this is not. Add to that a script that repeatedly reads as an advertisement to work at Google and you have yourself one hell of a bad movie.

4. Parker

Jason Statham's usually appealing action is disturbed by a Jennifer Lopez performance that is quite possibly her worst (and she has always been terrible). 'Parker' has some interesting character premises at first but its steep decline in quality over the course of the film is jarring.

3. Scary Movie 5

It seriously shocks me that anyone involved with this film found anything to laugh at here. 'Scary Movie 5' is an example of how a series that had already hit rock bottom still had room to fall.

2. Movie 43

'Movie 43' is a train wreck filled with very talented actors. It not only makes me sad that it isn't funny, it actually makes me angry that they really couldn't come up with anything better.

1. Identity Thief

This movie epitomises everything that is wrong with the modern comedy film. The fact that people find Melissa McCarthy funny genuinely baffles me, all I ever see is an untalented actress that has grown smug on the praise she doesn't deserve, in 'Identity Thief' she proves just how incapable she is to handle leading a film. Jason Bateman is just there that's all I can say, I have no idea why he took this part and I have even less of an idea as to what his character actually did. Perhaps I was just too busy lamenting the death of genuine intelligent humour to "appreciate" this senseless and crass excuse for wit.

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